Ayesha Hazarika: Biden is happy to string blushing Boris along and won’t yet make an honest man of him

Ayesha Hazarika
Daniel Hambury
Ayesha Hazarika22 September 2021
WEST END FINAL

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It’s not often you feel sorry for Boris Johnson. And it’s not often you really see him work for something. But when it comes to the special relationship — possibly the one relationship he really cares about — he’s certainly put in a shift. Even if it means snubbing our closest neighbours France, from whom he needs considerable help on migrant Channel crossings.

Johnson’s big American jaunt has, on the face of it, yielded a number of success stories. The main “win” for any British leader is proximity to a US President. Whatever hue of British premier, they are obsessed with meeting Mr President and always behave like a slightly flustered competition winner. Tony Blair was like a blushing bride with George Bush at Camp David. Theresa May ended up being grabbed — mercifully only by the hand — by Donald Trump at the White House. But at least she made it there. Poor Gordon Brown suffered the indignity of being snubbed five times by Barack Obama at a UN Security meeting and had to make do with a rushed catch-up in a kitchen in the building.

So, the fact that the red carpet was rolled out at the White House for Boris Johnson in itself would have been seen as a major win for the No 10 press operation. And there were some notable achievements to point to. More money from America to tackle climate change ahead of the COP 26 summit in Glasgow. I cannot wait for someone to explain the concept of a deep-fried Mars bar to Biden. Transatlantic travel for double-jabbed Britons is back on from November. And despite British politicians’ many misgivings about how Biden unilaterally withdrew the West from Afghanistan, the only beef that was raised was the British-produced variety which American consumers could soon enjoy.

But there was something missing. There was bags of bonhomie and warm body language but on the key issue that Johnson and Britons care about most — that big juicy free trade deal — there was a polite but firm shiftiness on the part of the President. Both men avoided it in their comments to the press. It was the British press who raised it. Biden suddenly didn’t look like that nice, cuddly old man from a Werther’s Original advert. “We’re going to talk about it… we’re gonna have to work that through…” At this point Johnson looked pretty crestfallen but nodded along meekly, probably feeling grateful for his mask. When pushed on where in the mythical queue we are and how his Irish connections come into play, Sleepy Joe sprung wide awake. “I would not at all like to see, nor might I add, would my Republican colleagues like to see a change in the Irish accords.” Again, all Johnson could do was burble his agreement.

It was clear that despite all the positivity of the optic, Biden was in complete control and was very happy to string Johnson along, dangling the thing that he wants so badly, but won’t yet make an honest man of him. Johnson even openly conceded “on the FTA, the reality is that Joe has a lot of fish to fry…”

I was reminded of the recurring line in When Harry Met Sally when Meg Ryan tells long-suffering mistress Carrie Fisher: “No one thinks he’s ever going to leave her.” Oh the irony.

There’s no doubt that this could be spun as a successful visit but what was clear from the press event, the chances of a free trade deal anytime soon were about as likely as Biden’s rambling Amtrak train anecdote having a punchline.

What do you think about Boris Johnson’s visit to the US? Let us know in the comments below.

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